Build a Network That Actually Works for You

You’ve probably been told a thousand times to “network.” But let’s be honest-most people are doing it wrong. Clicking “connect,” collecting business cards, or sending cold DMs with no context won’t get you anywhere. Real networking is about building trust, not just visibility. It’s about creating relationships that serve both sides-and knowing how to sustain them. When done well, your network becomes your greatest source of insight, opportunity, and resilience.

Lead With Curiosity, Not an Agenda

Don’t lead with “Can you help me get a job?” Instead, ask: “How did you get started in your role?” or “What do you love most about your work?” This creates space for a real conversation. When people feel you’re genuinely curious-not just self-serving-they’re far more likely to help.

Curiosity leads to meaningful conversations, and meaningful conversations lead to trust. That trust is what opens doors, whether it’s job referrals, project collaborations, or insider advice on a role you’re considering. But curiosity alone isn’t enough-you need to follow through. After a good conversation, send a thank-you note. Share an article that relates to what you discussed. Invite them to something they might find interesting.

This kind of follow-up not only deepens the connection-it signals that you’re thoughtful, consistent, and genuinely invested in more than just your own gain. That’s rare. That’s memorable.

And don’t underestimate the power of digital curiosity. On platforms like LinkedIn, thoughtful comments can be the beginning of strong relationships. Repost someone’s article with your take on it. Send a quick message to a speaker you admired. Curiosity applied consistently becomes a magnet for opportunity.

Make Real-World Connections (Even When It’s Awkward)

We’re more comfortable behind screens. But the fastest way to level-up your networking game is to show up in person. Why? Because shared experiences-like a workshop, networking event, or panel discussion-build context and rapport far faster than a comment thread ever could.

Start small. You don’t need to “work the room.” Set a goal to have three real conversations. Bring a few open-ended questions with you. Ask how someone found out about the event, or what drew them to that industry. Be genuinely interested, not performative.

And when you leave, don’t let the connection die. Enter their name in a simple tracker-Google Sheets works just fine. Note what you talked about. Set a reminder to follow up in 2–4 weeks. That small system? It turns acquaintances into allies.

You can even apply this approach to virtual events. After attending a webinar, reach out to one or two participants via LinkedIn. Mention something specific they said in the chat or breakout room. This kind of authentic follow-up builds your network in a way that doesn’t feel forced or formulaic.

The most effective professionals treat networking like tending a garden, not like ordering takeout. They plant seeds, water them regularly, and give relationships time to grow. The people you meet today might change your career in five years. Keep the soil fertile.

Give More Than You Ask

Networking that works in the long run is built on one thing: generosity. The best networkers are the most generous people in the room. They send leads, make intros, write recommendations, and offer encouragement-without expecting anything in return.

This doesn’t mean you give endlessly. It means you lead with the mindset of creating value. Share a podcast you loved. Connect two people with overlapping interests. Say thank you often. Publicly celebrate someone’s milestone. These micro-moments of goodwill have a compounding effect.

People remember who helped them. They pay it back-and forward. Over time, you’ll develop a reputation not just as a helpful person, but as a connector, a dot-joiner, a trusted voice. And that’s when doors start opening without you even knocking.

This generosity-first approach is also the antidote to transactional networking. When you focus on giving, you build depth, not just reach. And the depth is what pays off in moments that matter-when you’re making a career pivot, launching a project, or looking for your next big opportunity.

So instead of asking, “Who can help me?” ask, “Who can I help today?” Do that consistently, and you won’t need to chase opportunities. They’ll start finding you.